A deeply moving personal story of second trimester twin loss at 19 weeks. From the early excitement of a twin pregnancy to the devastating loss of Micaiah and Isaiah, this post raises awareness of second trimester loss and the gaps in maternal care.

Although completely shocked, we were overwhelmed with excitement. We were about to become a family of 6!

My story started on the 6th September 2024 when we found out we were pregnant. This was my third pregnancy, and we were excited to find out our family would be growing by one more.

I’d previously had two high risk pregnancy, as I had multiple blood clots in my leg and lungs in my first pregnancy, after our booking appointment we were scheduled to meet a consultant before our 12-week scan. It was at that appointment that we discovered we were expecting twins. Although completely shocked we were overwhelmed with excitement. We were about to become a family of 6!

At our 12-week scan our sonographer confirmed that our babies were growing perfectly. The sonographer said she could see a fibroid, which alarmed me as I had no previous knowledge of having any. During the scan I was in a bit of pain, which the sonographer picked up on. The discomfort was in my abdomen and in my lower back on my left. The sonographer thought it might be my kidneys so scanned that area, but everything looked ok. We left the hospital after taking some bloods for screening and I was still feeling some pain, so I had a nap for a few hours. When I woke up, I went to the toilet and was really alarmed to see I was lightly bleeding. I automatically thought the worst, but monitored the bleed for the rest of the evening and it appeared to reduce to spotting.

The next morning my stomach was really sore, and I was still bleeding on and off, so I called the midwives, and I was advised to go to A & E. Imagine my complete shock when, whilst being checked in, I was turned away because I was not yet 16 weeks. I explained that the midwife told me I should go to A & E, but I was told I was given the wrong information. I was directed to complete a referral online for the EPAU. Even though the form said I’d be contacted within 24 hours, I waited in the hospital, hopeful I’d be called in. I wasn’t. After a few hours, I took myself directly to the department, desperate to be seen. I explained that I had a scan the day before and had experienced a bleed, but I was turned away and told to return in the morning.

I felt like a number, not a human being.

All I could do was silently cry. I was stunned and confused. Did my twins not matter to them? I returned home and was called by the EPAU in response to the referral I had completed online. I was told that I could no longer come in the next morning as they would not scan me for another week. They said that if the pain and bleeding continued, I should return to A & E. There was no compassion, no concern, and no reassurance. We were fortunate enough to be blessed with a private scan that evening, which helped to settle my concerns, but I couldn’t get over being turned away. I felt like a number, not a human being.

The reassurance from the private scan, made us relax a little and we decided to share the news with our children. It took them a while to process that we were expecting twins, but they were so excited. It was such a special moment.

Despite having a rough first three months, battling with extreme nausea and sickness, I exhaled when I reached the second trimester. All the symptoms began to subside and I was enjoying experiencing the twins move from quite early on. I thought we were safe. I was still in pain, which seemed to increase as time went on. I thought that the pain was down to the weight of the pregnancy. Although, I had previously been pregnant, everything bout this pregnancy was so different. I had never carried twins before.

Due to previously going into labour before 37 weeks I was told my cervix would be measured at around 16 weeks. At the internal scan we were reassured that my cervix was fine, and the sonographer didn’t believe that it would need to be checked again. But we had an appointment the following week we were told by our specialist twin consultant that my cervix was borderline short, and I was prescribed Cyclogest.

As our babies grew, and their movements became more frequent the pain began to get more intense and became more frequent. I decide to buy a pregnancy belt to help relieve some of the pressure, but it didn’t seem to help at all. It was now December; we were counting down to our final Christmas as a family of four. We also had our 20-week scan booked for Christmas Eve. We were so excited with the prospect of telling our children the gender of our new babies as a special Christmas gift.

A week after seeing the consultant, I found myself admitted to the labour ward with extreme pain. I couldn’t walk, and the pain took my breath away. The twins were scanned, and their heartbeats were checked. They were perfect. Blood tests were done and a vaginal check and swab of my cervix. The doctor told me the pain was muscular. I had been given codeine, but the pain had not subsided at all. I was discharged and let the hospital still in so much pain. I was told to manage the pain with codeine, but I decided to keep my feet up as that was the only relieve that I had.

Less than 5 days later, on the 16^th December 2024 I went into spontaneous labour at home. Our first son came out abruptly whilst I was on the toilet. He came out breathing and moving. I called an ambulance who did the best they could to resuscitate him, but he died moments later. I was taken to the hospital, and I begged the doctors to save our other baby. I began to haemorrhage, and I had 2 units of blood transfused. My cervix was checked and the doctor let me know that I was miscarrying. I began to contract and 3 hours after delivering our first son at home, I delivered our second son. He arrived in his sac.

Even though this loss has been the most painful and traumatic experience of my life, I have decided that our sons’ lives, and story cannot be in vain.

I lost 2 beautiful baby boys at 19 weeks and 3 days. I was and still am completely heartbroken. We named our sons Micaiah and Isaiah. I realised that even though I had been pregnant before there was still so much I did not know about pregnancy. Although, I knew about first trimester loss and still birth and had no knowledge of second trimester loss. I also did now know that 24 weeks was when a life is legally considered viable. Even though this loss has been the most painful and traumatic experiences of my life, I have decided that our sons’ lives, and story cannot be in vain. I am going to do my best to share and bring awareness to second trimester loss and twin loss. My hope is that even if one woman’s pregnancy outcome will be changed, their short lives will potentially save another.

There are so many things that we are not made aware of and it’s important that we ask questions and ask for clarity where our care is concerned. My experience during this pregnancy has left me feeling that I have little hope and trust in the NHS with my maternal care. There have been many instances during each of my pregnancies where I have felt ignored, dismissed and not heard by the professionals who were responsible for my health and the care of my babies. It is really heartbreaking to know that a lot of these losses are preventable.

Written by Shakira Dixon-Williams