My Complete Molar Pregnancy Journey: From Pregnancy Joy to Unexpected Loss

We couldn’t find the words to express our happiness in October when we found out we were pregnant, 2 months after getting married. This was our first pregnancy so naturally some anxieties were there.

…the whole pregnancy so far, I had no reason to think anything was wrong.

My symptoms didn’t seem as bad as some of my friends so I thought I was quite lucky. We decided to book an early private scan which was when I was 6w6d, the scan gave us mixed feelings, the reassurance that everything was in the right place, however, we were told we measured at 5w6d and had a chorionic bump. The sonographer suggested we return in 2 weeks if we wanted. I left feeling deflated and immediately booked a scan for in 14 days’ time and tried my best to put it to the back of my head for those 2 weeks.

Scan day arrived and the first question we were asked “have you had any bleeding or cramping?” No, I hadn’t, the whole pregnancy so far, I had no reason to think anything was wrong. The scan went on for what felt like a lifetime and the silence was deafening, until I was told to get dressed and the sonographer’s assistant was going to make a call.

We were told there has been no growth and we were being referred to the EPU. We were asked if we wanted to see the screen and said yes, so we were shown the screen and I was completely and utterly shocked at what I saw compared to the first scan, the whole area now looked like it was filled with lots of small holes – I remember asking what it was and the sonographer saying it’s cystic tissue. I was so shocked at how much had grown, so quickly. I don’t think this is an image that I will ever forget.

My heart broke because in that moment, I knew, everything I had googled, was now my reality.

I spent the night crying and googling anything to search images that matched what I had seen and came across one which said molar pregnancy – something I had never heard of, I read some more and thought, this can’t be it, I don’t fall into the high-risk categories.

The next day at the EPU, I was taken for my blood pressure and the nurse said “you’re here for a partial molar pregnancy, is that right?” My heart broke because in that moment, I knew, everything I had googled, was now my reality. I broke down and went back to my husband and just said “it’s a molar”.

The scan then confirmed it and we were told it is likely a partial molar, then, in one sentence the consultant went from saying sorry for the loss, to the rare occurrence of a molar, to the potential of cancer. I was a mess at this point, we were given the option to go home and come back tomorrow or wait to speak to a doctor. There was no way I was going home so we were taken to a small quiet room and waited for a Dr, who brought some leaflets, took my blood pressure and a blood test. My HCG was 176,000 and we were asked to return in 4 days for my pre-op bloods, by then my HCG was >225,000 and my surgery was the next day (5 days after first diagnosis and 6 days after the scan).

10 days post-surgery, I received a call to explain testing was complete and it was a complete molar. My heart broke again. Everything I had read and listened to with partials, was no longer the case. Whilst the follow up is the same, things can be slightly longer and a higher % of requiring further treatment with completed.

I also knew (from my research) that you cannot try to conceive again until you are discharged, something I struggled with the most because it is all totally out of our control now and a waiting game. How can we have gone from being on cloud 9 finding out we were pregnant so soon into married life, to now have this what feels like, a never-ending wait.

I still cannot get my head around molar pregnancies, I have been told time after time, it’s a freak accident – not great when all you want is answers.

15 days after my surgery, I received my first kit and pack from Charing Cross (specialist hospital for Trophoblastic Tumour Screening). I have since had 2 blood tests and am currently waiting for the results from my latest. My drops have been great so far (thank goodness) and I know I am lucky at this point to have experienced such drops compared to some women.

I still cannot get my head around molar pregnancies, I have been told time after time, it’s a freak accident – not great when all you want is answers. There isn’t loads of information around and I found some Facebook groups to be a source of support and guidance.

To anyone reading this, worried, scared, distraught, I feel you, please reach out. It’s an extremely anxiety inducing time, I feel like my life currently is a cycle of waiting and anxiety, waiting for my kit, going for blood tests, waiting for the results, waiting for my next kit. I’ve also felt quite lonely, only a very small number of people around me (4) have heard of a molar pregnancy, and people don’t really fully understand the torment that comes alongside. I am remaining hopeful that I will not require chemotherapy and my HCG continues to drop in the way that it has, but I know this isn’t a given until we reach “normal” which is less than 5 and then we are discharged following a few extra weeks of confirmatory bloods to check levels remain normal.

I am spending my time currently doing lots of walking, eating well and having regular acupuncture to try and get myself into the best place physically and mentally for when we are discharged.

PS The image used is from Stephanie as her little flower corner brought me some light in the darkness at that time!