The Healing Power of Being Seen: Support After Miscarriage and Infertility

Written by Yulia Osoyanu

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October 26, 2025

The Healing Power of Being Seen: Support After Miscarriage and Infertility Image

Miscarriage and infertility are far more common than most people realise. According to the World Health Organization, around 15% of pregnancies end in loss, and the true number is likely higher because many countries still do not record early miscarriages consistently. Yet despite how widespread pregnancy loss is, many women walk through it feeling completely alone.

For decades, miscarriage and perinatal loss were rarely spoken about. Even ten years ago, the topic was almost entirely taboo. Today, we are beginning to see more open conversations, more books, and more communities addressing this experience. But the silence of the past has left a long shadow. Many women still feel they have no space to share their grief or ask for support.

The Invisible Loss

What makes perinatal loss so uniquely painful is that, unlike the loss of an adult, it often comes without rituals, shared mourning, or meaningful social acknowledgement. When someone loses a parent or a friend, the world recognises their grief. There are ceremonies, traditions, and people who knew the person who passed away. Even when the pain is deep, it is held collectively.

But with miscarriage, whether at seven weeks or seven months, there is usually no one who knew the baby except the mother. She felt the early signs of pregnancy, imagined futures and plans, and formed emotional attachment long before anyone else did. When the pregnancy ends, she loses not only a potential child but also the hopes and dreams that had already begun to take shape.

Yet society often minimises this loss with phrases such as:

“Don’t worry, it was only 12 weeks.”

“You’ll try again.”

“You didn’t even meet the baby.”

These comments can be deeply painful. Many women describe feeling as if their grief does not count. The loss becomes invisible, and so does their pain.

Why Silence Makes Recovery Harder

When loss is not acknowledged, women often internalise their emotions. They may feel isolated, ashamed, or unsure whether their grief is normal. Many experience an overwhelming sense of guilt, even though miscarriage is almost never caused by anything the mother did or did not do. This guilt is one of the most common emotional reactions, yet one of the hardest to speak about. Without a safe space to express these feelings, grief can become heavier and lonelier.

The Role of Therapy and Coaching Together

Therapy and coaching both offer compassionate, structured support for anyone navigating miscarriage or infertility. Both create a safe emotional space where every feeling is allowed. Sadness, guilt, anger, jealousy, fear, confusion, exhaustion, hope, and even numbness are met with understanding rather than judgement.

Professionals who specialise in fertility and perinatal loss help women see that the guilt they feel is a natural part of grieving, not evidence of wrongdoing. They help normalise emotional reactions, reduce feelings of isolation, and offer tools for coping with stress, trauma, and decision fatigue. They can also help women prepare emotionally for future pregnancies if and when they decide to try again.

Therapists and coaches bring different strengths, but both play an important role in helping women feel seen and supported as they rebuild their emotional stability and confidence.

The Power of Community: Why Support Groups Matter

Support groups, such as the community created by The Worst Girl Gang Ever, offer something irreplaceable: connection with others who truly understand. No explanations. No minimising. No shame.

Being in a room, whether virtual or in person, with people who have experienced miscarriage or infertility breaks the sense of isolation. Women realise they are not the only ones who felt angry at pregnant friends, terrified of trying again, or overwhelmed by sadness months later. Hearing stories that mirror their own brings comfort, validation, and genuine relief.

Community does not erase the pain, but it transforms it from a silent burden into a shared experience that is witnessed and held.

You Do Not Have to Carry This Alone

Miscarriage is heartbreaking, and infertility is exhausting. But healing becomes possible when women are seen, heard, and supported. Whether through therapy, coaching, or a compassionate community, connection is what helps us move forward with both softness and strength.

If you are grieving a loss, please remember that your emotions are valid, your story matters, and you deserve support on this journey.

A Note About Me

I’m Yulia Osoyanu, a fertility coach and women’s health practitioner. My work is shaped by both my profes

sional background in psychology and emotional wellbeing, and by my own long journey through infertility and IVF.

I support women through miscarriage, fertility challenges, and the emotional weight that comes with them. My approach is gentle, compassionate, and grounded in helping you feel seen, understood, and supported.

You do not have to walk this path alone. I’m here to hold space for you, wherever you are.

Find me at https://fertilitycoaching4u.com/