Sex & Intimacy

Written by Bex & Laura

June 12, 2025

Sex & Intimacy Image

Yep, we’re going there
Sex. Intimacy. Connection. The stuff no one really talks about properly when you’re trying to conceive, battling fertility problems or navigating life after loss. Well… we are. Because it matters. Because you matter.

💞 FOR THE COUPLES

Trying to conceive can absolutely bulldoze your sex life. When sex starts to feel like a schedule to stick to rather than something spontaneous and joyful, it’s no wonder the spark starts to fizzle. And if you’ve experienced loss, there can be a whole new layer of trauma and sadness wrapped up in the act itself.

If that’s you right now, please know: you’re not broken, and neither is your relationship. This is incredibly common—and totally valid.

Some ways to gently rekindle the connection:

💬 Talk, even if it feels awkward
You don’t have to have the perfect words. Just start small—acknowledge how things feel right now and what you might both need to feel closer again.

💫 Focus on intimacy, not intercourse
Sometimes the pressure of “getting back to it” can make everything feel more distant. Begin with touch, cuddles, massage… things that reconnect you without expectation.

🔥 Keep it sexy outside the fertile window
Sex that’s all about conception can kill the vibe. Make space for connection that isn’t timed or purposeful—because pleasure for the sake of pleasure is powerful.

🛁 Mix it up
New lingerie? Kitchen table antics? A massage swap with scented oils? Why not! Feeling good in your body again can start with play, curiosity, and a little adventure.

💡 DIY is totally A-OK
Understanding your own pleasure is empowering—and sharing that knowledge with your partner can bring a whole new level of intimacy to the table (or bed… or shower… you get the picture 😉).

Need some inspo? Check out this article with loads of tips to keep things spicy:
Spice Up Your Sex Life – Oprah Daily

Pear on a blue background as a female body shape. A metaphor of sex, sexuality, vagina. High quality photo

💃 FOR THE SINGLE GANG MEMBERS

Being single doesn’t mean you’re cut off from intimacy or sensuality. In fact, this can be an incredible time to reconnect with yourself—mind, body, and soul.

Knowing what feels good isn’t just empowering—it’s healing. You deserve pleasure, softness, exploration. You deserve to feel good.

✨ Self-intimacy is self-love
Learning what turns you on, what makes you feel safe, and what brings you joy can be transformative.

💥 Orgasms = happy hormones
Oxytocin and dopamine—yes please! They reduce stress, boost mood, and reconnect you to your physical body in the best kind of way. More on this tomorrow… 

🖐 Need a little guide? We’ve got you:

(Yes, Woman & Home—who knew they were such saucy minxes?!)

💛 Whether you’re partnered up or solo, the golden rule here is: go at your own pace.
There’s no rush. No pressure. Just permission to explore what intimacy looks and feels like for you—right now, in this chapter of life.

You’ve been through so much. You deserve to feel connected, grounded, and most of all… held—by yourself or someone else.

Real voices,
real impact

Baby loss and infertility can feel isolating, but you’re not alone here. Hear from those who’ve found support, strength, and community with us.

“I’ve gotten more out of these sessions than I have in months of therapy. I am so so grateful for you guys. Truly. xo”

-Sammi, TFMR course attendee 🇺🇸

“This challenge has really helped me to feel like I’ve found my tribe & the people that just get me 🥰. It’s been so much more than just training for a run ❤️.”

-Edwina, Run 10k to Raise 10k participant

‘The chat is a lifeline! Baby loss can make you feel so isolated but, connecting with others who have been there makes it that bit more bearable xx”

Warriorship drop-In support call attendee

“Just a huge thank you from the bottom of my heart. A friend gave me your book a few days after my TFMR and reading it scraped me off the emotional floor. It validated all of the contradictory emotions I was feeling and made me feel so much less alone.”

Harri, Reader of the TWGGE survival guide

“I have never felt more connected on a deeper level emotionally, more understood, validated, and respected than with this amazing group of women who sadly like myself have been through the shittest time with fertility/baby loss. “

Baby loss support course attendee

“It would be no exaggeration to say this podcast has been a lifeline for me over the past couple of months and has seen me through some dark days. I’m so grateful to have found this community of women who are so funny, inspiring and knowledgeable. It makes me feel less alone.”

AshSunny87, Podcast listener

“Almost 4.5 years since I joined this god awful gang… but the worst girl gang ever is the best girl gang for support ❤️ thank you for helping so many lost and helpless women in their dark times! I don’t know how I found you but I’m so grateful for you both 🙌 you may never know how much I need you”

Instagram follower

A Guide to Happy Hormones

Written by Bex & Laura

June 12, 2025

A Guide to Happy Hormones Image

Happy Hormones are natural mood boosters that are always working behind the scenes, they are super simple, seriously powerful and the best news is that there are loads of ways to boost them!

 

🌟 Meet Your Happy Hormones

There are four key chemicals often called the “happy hormones” because they’re linked to pleasure, connection, and overall good vibes. Let’s break them down…

1. Dopamine – A big hitter, dopamine enables motivation, learning and pleasure & enables you to get shit done.

This one’s all about motivation, focus, and that satisfied yes-I-did-it feeling. Dopamine kicks in when you tick something off your list or hit a small goal (hello, to-do list addicts!).

Boost your dopamine:

  • Complete a task (even the little ones!)
  • Celebrate small wins
  • Listen to your favourite tunes
  • Treat yourself to some dark chocolate 🍫

2. Serotonin – The safety hormone, seratonin helps you to feel calm, confident, seen and accepted

Serotonin supports everything from mood to sleep to digestion. It’s your feel-good, keep-it-steady hormone—and it loves a bit of nature and sunshine.

Boost your serotonin:

  • Get outside (especially in the sun!)
  • Take a mindful walk in nature
  • Try meditation or breathwork
  • Go for a swim or cycle
  • Yep… dark chocolate helps here too!

3. Endorphins – The Natural Painkiller

Endorphins are your brain’s way of giving you a big, euphoric hug. They help relieve stress and physical pain—and they’re why people rave about that post-workout buzz.

Boost your endorphins:

  • Move your body (dance, walk, stretch, whatever feels good!)
  • Laugh out loud (laughter yoga is wildly fun, give it a go!)
  • You guessed it… dark chocolate again 😉

4. Oxytocin – The Love Hormone

Oxytocin is all about connection. It helps us feel bonded, relaxed, and supported. It’s released during sex (preferably orgasms 😂) hugs, hand-holding, and cuddles with pets (or people).

Boost your oxytocin:

  • Cuddle your partner, friends—or your dog!
  • Enjoy some sexy time (with our without partner) 
  • Give or receive a massage
  • Hold hands or share a moment of kindness

💡 Quick tip: Happy hormones work best when you give them a little love every day. Why not print out our Happy Hormone Infographic and pop it somewhere you’ll see it—like your fridge, bathroom mirror or desk?

Let it be a gentle nudge to choose joy, soak in connection, and celebrate the little things.

If this stuff really floats your boat, check out this book called The DOSE effect by neuroscientist TJ Power, 

You’re doing brilliantly—don’t forget to pause and praise yourself for it 💛

Real voices,
real impact

Baby loss and infertility can feel isolating, but you’re not alone here. Hear from those who’ve found support, strength, and community with us.

“I’ve gotten more out of these sessions than I have in months of therapy. I am so so grateful for you guys. Truly. xo”

-Sammi, TFMR course attendee 🇺🇸

“This challenge has really helped me to feel like I’ve found my tribe & the people that just get me 🥰. It’s been so much more than just training for a run ❤️.”

-Edwina, Run 10k to Raise 10k participant

‘The chat is a lifeline! Baby loss can make you feel so isolated but, connecting with others who have been there makes it that bit more bearable xx”

Warriorship drop-In support call attendee

“Just a huge thank you from the bottom of my heart. A friend gave me your book a few days after my TFMR and reading it scraped me off the emotional floor. It validated all of the contradictory emotions I was feeling and made me feel so much less alone.”

Harri, Reader of the TWGGE survival guide

“I have never felt more connected on a deeper level emotionally, more understood, validated, and respected than with this amazing group of women who sadly like myself have been through the shittest time with fertility/baby loss. “

Baby loss support course attendee

“It would be no exaggeration to say this podcast has been a lifeline for me over the past couple of months and has seen me through some dark days. I’m so grateful to have found this community of women who are so funny, inspiring and knowledgeable. It makes me feel less alone.”

AshSunny87, Podcast listener

“Almost 4.5 years since I joined this god awful gang… but the worst girl gang ever is the best girl gang for support ❤️ thank you for helping so many lost and helpless women in their dark times! I don’t know how I found you but I’m so grateful for you both 🙌 you may never know how much I need you”

Instagram follower

Recovery Recipes

Written by Bex & Laura - recipes provided by Alison Hall Nutrition

June 12, 2025

Recovery Recipes Image

What we choose to put in our bodies each day can have a big impact on how we feel physically, emotionally, and mentally. It’s not about being perfect or following strict rules – it’s about small, manageable choices that add up and support your recovery over time.

During pregnancy, our bodies are depleted of essential vitamins and minerals. Then, in the depths of grief, it’s common (and completely understandable) to reach for beige, carby, cheesy comfort foods. They bring warmth in the moment- but not always the lasting nourishment we truly need.

The good news is: nutrition doesn’t have to be complicated.

Yes, there’s a lot of noise out there. Loads of advice. Lots of “shoulds” and “don’ts.” But sometimes, what we really need is just a bloody recipe – something simple, tasty, and good for us, without the overwhelm.

So here you go, lads. We’ve got you covered.
💛 Recovery Recipes, lovingly curated by our resident nutritionist, Alison Hall:
👉 Download the recipes here

What to expect in the guide:
🫐 Nutrient-rich meals to support energy, hormone balance & mood
🥦 Simple, fuss-free recipes that don’t require a million ingredients
🍲 Comforting meals that still nourish you from the inside out
📝 Tips on how to prep ahead and stay consistent (even on low-energy days)

Some gentle tips to make nutrition feel easier right now:

  • Keep it simple. You don’t need to reinvent your diet. Focus on adding more good stuff in, rather than restricting.
  • Batch cook when you have the energy. Make double portions so you can freeze a meal for the days you just can’t.
  • Hydrate! It’s easy to forget, but drinking more water can massively boost how you feel.
  • Snack smart. Keep things like nuts, fruit, hummus, or boiled eggs handy for quick, nourishing fuel.
  • Don’t aim for perfection. You’re doing your best – and that’s more than enough.

Here’s to fuelling your recovery – one meal at a time.

Real voices,
real impact

Baby loss and infertility can feel isolating, but you’re not alone here. Hear from those who’ve found support, strength, and community with us.

“I’ve gotten more out of these sessions than I have in months of therapy. I am so so grateful for you guys. Truly. xo”

-Sammi, TFMR course attendee 🇺🇸

“This challenge has really helped me to feel like I’ve found my tribe & the people that just get me 🥰. It’s been so much more than just training for a run ❤️.”

-Edwina, Run 10k to Raise 10k participant

‘The chat is a lifeline! Baby loss can make you feel so isolated but, connecting with others who have been there makes it that bit more bearable xx”

Warriorship drop-In support call attendee

“Just a huge thank you from the bottom of my heart. A friend gave me your book a few days after my TFMR and reading it scraped me off the emotional floor. It validated all of the contradictory emotions I was feeling and made me feel so much less alone.”

Harri, Reader of the TWGGE survival guide

“I have never felt more connected on a deeper level emotionally, more understood, validated, and respected than with this amazing group of women who sadly like myself have been through the shittest time with fertility/baby loss. “

Baby loss support course attendee

“It would be no exaggeration to say this podcast has been a lifeline for me over the past couple of months and has seen me through some dark days. I’m so grateful to have found this community of women who are so funny, inspiring and knowledgeable. It makes me feel less alone.”

AshSunny87, Podcast listener

“Almost 4.5 years since I joined this god awful gang… but the worst girl gang ever is the best girl gang for support ❤️ thank you for helping so many lost and helpless women in their dark times! I don’t know how I found you but I’m so grateful for you both 🙌 you may never know how much I need you”

Instagram follower

Triggers & How to Manage them

Written by Bex & Laura

June 12, 2025

Triggers & How to Manage them Image

The word ‘trigger’ gets thrown around a lot these days, but at its core, a trigger is anything that brings you back to the trauma you’ve experienced — often suddenly, and with overwhelming emotional intensity.

Below is a resource to help guide you through how to manage and cope with triggering situations and experiences.

So we’ve explained what triggers are, but what does that mean to you?

🔥 Common Triggers

You might notice strong reactions to:

  • Scanning rooms or ultrasound images — even in TV shows or films.
  • Pregnancy announcements — especially when the baby is healthy or the experience looks ‘perfect.’
  • Medical environments — hospitals, waiting rooms, or even seeing people in scrubs.
  • Language used around pregnancy or loss — phrases like “at least you know you can get pregnant” or “everything happens for a reason.”
  • Anniversaries or dates — due dates, the day you received the diagnosis, the day of your TFMR.
  • Your own emotions — feeling joy, hope, or anger can unexpectedly bring a wave of grief or guilt crashing in.

These are just a few — your triggers may look completely different, and that’s valid. Whatever you feel, you are not overreacting.

🛠 How to Cope with Triggers

Here are some gentle strategies to help you navigate triggering moments:

🌱 Talk to people who get it.
Offloading to a trusted partner, friend, or someone in the TFMR/baby loss community can help lighten the emotional load. Choose people who make space for your pain — not those who try to ‘fix’ it.

⚠️ Avoid people who’ve minimised your experience in the past.
Even if they love you, some people just won’t understand — and their attempts to help can feel invalidating.

🧘‍♀️ Try grounding techniques when you’re overwhelmed:

  • Breathe: 10 slow, deep breaths — in through your nose for 4, out through your mouth for 6 or 8. In for 4, out for more.
  • Sense check:
    – 5 things you can see
    – 4 things you can hear
    – 3 things you can smell
    – 2 things you can touch
    – 1 thing you can taste
  • Cold water: Sip some or splash it on your face and neck.
  • Movement: Step outside, stretch, or walk if you can. Sometimes physically moving can help shift mental overwhelm.

👥 Connect with the group:


Our WhatsApp groups are a safe space to share how you’re feeling and what helps you cope. If you’ve found something that helps you through triggering moments, let others know — we learn and heal in community – you can find the whats app groups in our free membership section, or use the link below. 

Membership

Real voices,
real impact

Baby loss and infertility can feel isolating, but you’re not alone here. Hear from those who’ve found support, strength, and community with us.

“I’ve gotten more out of these sessions than I have in months of therapy. I am so so grateful for you guys. Truly. xo”

-Sammi, TFMR course attendee 🇺🇸

“This challenge has really helped me to feel like I’ve found my tribe & the people that just get me 🥰. It’s been so much more than just training for a run ❤️.”

-Edwina, Run 10k to Raise 10k participant

‘The chat is a lifeline! Baby loss can make you feel so isolated but, connecting with others who have been there makes it that bit more bearable xx”

Warriorship drop-In support call attendee

“Just a huge thank you from the bottom of my heart. A friend gave me your book a few days after my TFMR and reading it scraped me off the emotional floor. It validated all of the contradictory emotions I was feeling and made me feel so much less alone.”

Harri, Reader of the TWGGE survival guide

“I have never felt more connected on a deeper level emotionally, more understood, validated, and respected than with this amazing group of women who sadly like myself have been through the shittest time with fertility/baby loss. “

Baby loss support course attendee

“It would be no exaggeration to say this podcast has been a lifeline for me over the past couple of months and has seen me through some dark days. I’m so grateful to have found this community of women who are so funny, inspiring and knowledgeable. It makes me feel less alone.”

AshSunny87, Podcast listener

“Almost 4.5 years since I joined this god awful gang… but the worst girl gang ever is the best girl gang for support ❤️ thank you for helping so many lost and helpless women in their dark times! I don’t know how I found you but I’m so grateful for you both 🙌 you may never know how much I need you”

Instagram follower

Mindful Colouring in

Written by Bex & Laura

June 12, 2025

Mindful Colouring in Image

Mindful colouring is like a reset button for your brain. No notifications, no multitasking, no running through tomorrow’s to-do list in your head. Just you, some colours, and a page. As you focus on the shapes and shades, your nervous system starts to calm down, your breathing slows, and for once, your mind stops racing. It’s a simple, no-pressure way to ground yourself when everything else feels a bit too much. Turns out, staying inside the lines can be strangely freeing.

Our colouring in worksheets have been created for us by member of the gang Helen ❤️

Get those colouring pencils out!

Lost in you

This illustration shows how it feels when someone who loves you dearly gives you a much needed hug – that makes you feel comforted and safe, even if just for a moment. When words can’t help, sometimes a hug can.

Download here 👇

Lost In You

Weathering the storm

This illustration shows a woman standing strong, rooted to the earth, battling on against all the elements. It depicts the love we feel for our lost babies and the strength we fnd within ourselves to carry on after loss.

Download here 👇

Weathering The Storm

Our world

This illustration shows a couple together in grief, holding on to each other while the world as they knew it shifts and changes around them. It depicts how isolated and alone a couple can feel after experiencing a shared loss, and how they must now face this new world together.

Download here 👇

Our World

Real voices,
real impact

Baby loss and infertility can feel isolating, but you’re not alone here. Hear from those who’ve found support, strength, and community with us.

“I’ve gotten more out of these sessions than I have in months of therapy. I am so so grateful for you guys. Truly. xo”

-Sammi, TFMR course attendee 🇺🇸

“This challenge has really helped me to feel like I’ve found my tribe & the people that just get me 🥰. It’s been so much more than just training for a run ❤️.”

-Edwina, Run 10k to Raise 10k participant

‘The chat is a lifeline! Baby loss can make you feel so isolated but, connecting with others who have been there makes it that bit more bearable xx”

Warriorship drop-In support call attendee

“Just a huge thank you from the bottom of my heart. A friend gave me your book a few days after my TFMR and reading it scraped me off the emotional floor. It validated all of the contradictory emotions I was feeling and made me feel so much less alone.”

Harri, Reader of the TWGGE survival guide

“I have never felt more connected on a deeper level emotionally, more understood, validated, and respected than with this amazing group of women who sadly like myself have been through the shittest time with fertility/baby loss. “

Baby loss support course attendee

“It would be no exaggeration to say this podcast has been a lifeline for me over the past couple of months and has seen me through some dark days. I’m so grateful to have found this community of women who are so funny, inspiring and knowledgeable. It makes me feel less alone.”

AshSunny87, Podcast listener

“Almost 4.5 years since I joined this god awful gang… but the worst girl gang ever is the best girl gang for support ❤️ thank you for helping so many lost and helpless women in their dark times! I don’t know how I found you but I’m so grateful for you both 🙌 you may never know how much I need you”

Instagram follower

Boundaries

Written by Bex & Laura

June 12, 2025

Boundaries Image

Personal boundaries are like polite little fences for your wellbeing — they keep the good in and the nonsense out. It’s about knowing what you’re comfortable with, saying “no” when you mean it (without over explanations or justifications), and remembering that your needs aren’t automatically less important than everyone else’s. Boundaries aren’t rude; they’re self-respect, which we are all entitled to.

Read on for some tips on erecting (tee-hee) them.

Personal Boundaries: Because You’re Not a Doormat (Nor Should You Be)

1. You have every right to your personal boundaries — own them.


Your boundaries are like your personal bouncer: they decide who or what gets into the VIP lounge of your life. Without them, you’re essentially letting any old riff-raff wander in and nick your sense of self-worth. People who have flimsy boundaries themselves are often the worst culprits for stomping all over other people’s — funny that, isn’t it? So, be crystal clear about what you will and won’t tolerate. Set the rules, and be prepared to actually follow through. Otherwise, you’re just issuing empty threats — and nobody takes those seriously, not even your cat.

2. Other people’s needs aren’t automatically more important than yours.

Yes, even your partner. Even your boss. Even that friend. Putting yourself first sometimes isn’t selfish — it’s survival. When you take care of your own needs, you’re actually modelling healthy behaviour for those around you (who knew?). You’re showing the family how to contribute, not just consume. It’s the whole “put your own oxygen mask on first” thing — because you’re not much use to anyone if you’re lying flat out on the floor gasping.

3. Learn to say ‘no’ without writing a novel to justify it.


We Brits love a good polite excuse, but sometimes “no” is a full sentence. You’re not being mean; you’re being sensible. You’re allowed to prioritise your own wellbeing without making a six-page PowerPoint presentation to defend your decision. Constantly sacrificing your own needs to please others isn’t noble — it’s a fast-track ticket to burnout, resentment, and passive-aggressive sighing.

4. Know your dealbreakers — and communicate them.


Take note of the things that make you want to scream into a pillow. Those are your red lines. If someone crosses them, don’t just smile politely while internally plotting their demise. Tell them. Calmly. Firmly. Kindly, even. You’re allowed to say when someone’s behaviour makes you uncomfortable. You’re allowed to ask for space. You’re allowed to just be your fabulous, flawed self without morphing into what others expect you to be.

5. Stay in your ‘adult’.


In other words, keep it classy, not sassy. Aim to be clear and composed rather than overly emotional or defensive. You don’t need to justify yourself with lengthy explanations or heightened emotion, just express your boundaries with confidence and calm. A steady respectful time tone, like that of a kind but form teacher, often communicates more effectively than frustration or withdrawal.

6. Trust yourself — you know you best.


At the end of the day, you are the expert on you. Don’t hand over your life decisions to anyone else, no matter how confident they seem (including your mother-in-law). Healthy boundaries allow you to own your strengths and quirks, and to let others do the same. Things get messy when we start playing the victim, the rescuer, or the one who needs constant saving. Spoiler alert: none of these roles end well.

Real voices,
real impact

Baby loss and infertility can feel isolating, but you’re not alone here. Hear from those who’ve found support, strength, and community with us.

“I’ve gotten more out of these sessions than I have in months of therapy. I am so so grateful for you guys. Truly. xo”

-Sammi, TFMR course attendee 🇺🇸

“This challenge has really helped me to feel like I’ve found my tribe & the people that just get me 🥰. It’s been so much more than just training for a run ❤️.”

-Edwina, Run 10k to Raise 10k participant

‘The chat is a lifeline! Baby loss can make you feel so isolated but, connecting with others who have been there makes it that bit more bearable xx”

Warriorship drop-In support call attendee

“Just a huge thank you from the bottom of my heart. A friend gave me your book a few days after my TFMR and reading it scraped me off the emotional floor. It validated all of the contradictory emotions I was feeling and made me feel so much less alone.”

Harri, Reader of the TWGGE survival guide

“I have never felt more connected on a deeper level emotionally, more understood, validated, and respected than with this amazing group of women who sadly like myself have been through the shittest time with fertility/baby loss. “

Baby loss support course attendee

“It would be no exaggeration to say this podcast has been a lifeline for me over the past couple of months and has seen me through some dark days. I’m so grateful to have found this community of women who are so funny, inspiring and knowledgeable. It makes me feel less alone.”

AshSunny87, Podcast listener

“Almost 4.5 years since I joined this god awful gang… but the worst girl gang ever is the best girl gang for support ❤️ thank you for helping so many lost and helpless women in their dark times! I don’t know how I found you but I’m so grateful for you both 🙌 you may never know how much I need you”

Instagram follower

Back to Work After Pregnancy Loss: An Occupational Therapist’s Insight

Written by Lauren Schenk

June 11, 2025

Back to Work After Pregnancy Loss: An Occupational Therapist’s Insight Image

This blog shares a deeply personal story of returning to work after pregnancy loss, blending lived experience with professional insight as an occupational therapist. It explores the emotional, physical, and systemic challenges of navigating grief in the workplace, and the changes needed to better support bereaved employees.

I can still remember how it felt to have to turn my mind to work when I was still acutely grappling with the most traumatic experience I had ever endured. My baby had died, several weeks prior, and was still in my body. What I thought would be a happy memory of seeing my 14-week-old baby on an ultrasound turned into a nightmare from which I could not awaken. It was 4pm on Friday, December 30th, 2022, before the New Year’s long weekend. I was supposed to return to work the following Tuesday – but how?

I couldn’t understand how I could be sent home, without care, with my dead baby still inside me.

It seems strange to say this, but I was lucky. My sister-in-law worked at the same company and was able to notify my boss that I had lost the baby and would not be returning to work on Tuesday. My body did not recognise that my baby had died and so I required a Dilation and Curettage (D&C) to deliver my baby. I felt abandoned by the healthcare system because I was sent home after discovering my missed miscarriage and informed that I would need to call the local abortion clinic to schedule the D&C myself. I couldn’t understand how I could be sent home, without care, with my dead baby still inside me.

The next three days remain a fog to me. I can recall feeling completely numb, but not much else. My husband tried to keep me afloat by keeping us busy, but all I wanted was to fall into bed and not get back up. When Tuesday did arrive, I still don’t know how I gathered the strength to call the abortion clinic to schedule the D&C. Unfortunately, it took several hours of repeatedly calling the clinic to get through the phone lines to be able to speak with a booking nurse. I learned after the fact that pro-life activists would take turns calling the abortion clinic as a means of keeping the phone lines busy in an attempt to keep women and pregnant individuals from being able to access care. The cruelty and injustice of this still baffles and infuriates me. Finally, I spoke to a nurse and my D&C was scheduled for the next morning.

Recovery from the surgery that delivered my baby was difficult – it challenged me physically and mentally, such that I spent the next few days in bed. I had scheduled a call with my boss on Friday – two days after my surgery – to discuss my return to work. When Friday came, I had written out what I would say to my boss. I told myself I would remain professional and was cautiously optimistic that I could return to work the next week. However, as soon as the phone call started, my voice began to shake, and tears started streaming down my face.

There was no way I could return to work as an occupational therapist who treats clients with severe depression, anxiety, and PTSD – it would be completely unethical to do so.

Again, I was lucky, my boss was a compassionate person and a father to 2-year-old twins. In addition, one of my coworkers had recently experienced a stillbirth and was off work for her recovery and healing as well. He was understanding of my grief and ensured I knew there was no pressure for me to return to work until I felt ready. As an occupational therapist, a large part of my role was to support clients who were off work due to mental health challenges and trauma, and so my boss trusted in my ability to know when I could return to work. He also allowed me to design my own gradual return-to-work plan.

I had to figure out how to remain professional and friendly with a coworker who was pregnant and due around the same time I was.

I eventually did return to work a week later, but didn’t work directly with clients for another couple of weeks. I was able to work from home when I needed and kept my office door closed most of the time. I had to navigate how to disclose my miscarriage to coworkers and explain my absence to my clients. I had to field insensitive comments from senior management and figure out how to make it look like I hadn’t just been crying in the office bathroom. I was still bleeding and cramping from the surgery and experiencing hormonal changes within this new and unfamiliar postpartum body. I had to figure out how to remain professional and friendly with a coworker who was pregnant and due around the same time I was. It took me longer to complete my work tasks because I couldn’t focus, and I struggled with brain fog. I grappled every day with figuring out how I was going to hold space and assist my clients with their struggles, when their struggles seemed insignificant compared to the fact that my baby had died (hence why I waited several more weeks before working with clients again).

In hindsight, I returned to work too early. I struggled with thoughts that I was disappointing my team members and letting others down. I struggled with the societal tendency to downplay the significance of miscarriage and felt like my grief was disproportionate to what others expect following a miscarriage. I struggled with the fact that my husband was able to return to work right after the loss and I felt as though I needed to return to work to also financially provide for our family. I wasn’t clear on what my company’s bereavement policy was and what I could request in terms of paid or unpaid time off. My experience of returning to work incorporated good, bad, and confusing elements. This lived experience now greatly informs the work I do and has shaped the clinician I am today.

While no employer can take away the grief of losing a baby, compassionate policies and understanding managers can make an enormous difference.

I ended up leaving my company a few months after my miscarriage. This was in part from the insensitive experiences I had with senior management but also due to an overwhelming need to make a change in my life. After losing my baby, I felt lost and so out-of-control of my own life. Finding a new job, with a company whose values felt like a better fit, was something I could control and gave me back a sense of agency I had lost. My decision to change companies is so reflective of workplace trends related to employee retention following pregnancy loss. The 2022 Pregnancy and Parenting at Work survey by Tommy’s found that 57% of women said they have, or would, consider leaving their job or not returning from parental leave due to lack of support during their infertility, pregnancy, loss, or parenting journey. Further, 67% of survey respondents felt their manager did not support them during pregnancy and/or infant loss.

The issues that one can experience with staying at work and returning to work following pregnancy loss are pervasive and far-reaching. My experience is just one of millions. My journey through pregnancy loss and returning to work has forever changed me- both personally and professionally. While no employer can take away the grief of losing a baby, compassionate policies and understanding managers and colleagues can make an enormous difference in how we navigate our grief in the workplace. I hope that by sharing my story, I can contribute to creating workplaces where pregnancy loss is acknowledged as the significant loss that it is, where bereavement policies are clear and supportive, and where no one feels rushed to get “back to normal”; when their world has been shattered.

The statistics show we have far to go, but each conversation, each story shared, and each workplace policy improved brings us closer to a world where pregnancy loss is acknowledged with the gravity and support it deserves.

Real voices,
real impact

Baby loss and infertility can feel isolating, but you’re not alone here. Hear from those who’ve found support, strength, and community with us.

“I’ve gotten more out of these sessions than I have in months of therapy. I am so so grateful for you guys. Truly. xo”

-Sammi, TFMR course attendee 🇺🇸

“This challenge has really helped me to feel like I’ve found my tribe & the people that just get me 🥰. It’s been so much more than just training for a run ❤️.”

-Edwina, Run 10k to Raise 10k participant

‘The chat is a lifeline! Baby loss can make you feel so isolated but, connecting with others who have been there makes it that bit more bearable xx”

Warriorship drop-In support call attendee

“Just a huge thank you from the bottom of my heart. A friend gave me your book a few days after my TFMR and reading it scraped me off the emotional floor. It validated all of the contradictory emotions I was feeling and made me feel so much less alone.”

Harri, Reader of the TWGGE survival guide

“I have never felt more connected on a deeper level emotionally, more understood, validated, and respected than with this amazing group of women who sadly like myself have been through the shittest time with fertility/baby loss. “

Baby loss support course attendee

“It would be no exaggeration to say this podcast has been a lifeline for me over the past couple of months and has seen me through some dark days. I’m so grateful to have found this community of women who are so funny, inspiring and knowledgeable. It makes me feel less alone.”

AshSunny87, Podcast listener

“Almost 4.5 years since I joined this god awful gang… but the worst girl gang ever is the best girl gang for support ❤️ thank you for helping so many lost and helpless women in their dark times! I don’t know how I found you but I’m so grateful for you both 🙌 you may never know how much I need you”

Instagram follower

31 Day Self Care Challenge!

Written by Bex & Laura

June 11, 2025

31 Day Self Care Challenge! Image

You can’t run on empty — you’re not a knackered old kettle. Rest. Eat. Say no. Protect your peace. That’s not being selfish, that’s being sensible. The world will keep spinning whether you reply to that message or not. You matter. Your needs matter. Get back to basics with our 31 day self care challenge, we dare you.

And here’s a linked version to print out and pin up!

31 day self care challenge

Real voices,
real impact

Baby loss and infertility can feel isolating, but you’re not alone here. Hear from those who’ve found support, strength, and community with us.

“I’ve gotten more out of these sessions than I have in months of therapy. I am so so grateful for you guys. Truly. xo”

-Sammi, TFMR course attendee 🇺🇸

“This challenge has really helped me to feel like I’ve found my tribe & the people that just get me 🥰. It’s been so much more than just training for a run ❤️.”

-Edwina, Run 10k to Raise 10k participant

‘The chat is a lifeline! Baby loss can make you feel so isolated but, connecting with others who have been there makes it that bit more bearable xx”

Warriorship drop-In support call attendee

“Just a huge thank you from the bottom of my heart. A friend gave me your book a few days after my TFMR and reading it scraped me off the emotional floor. It validated all of the contradictory emotions I was feeling and made me feel so much less alone.”

Harri, Reader of the TWGGE survival guide

“I have never felt more connected on a deeper level emotionally, more understood, validated, and respected than with this amazing group of women who sadly like myself have been through the shittest time with fertility/baby loss. “

Baby loss support course attendee

“It would be no exaggeration to say this podcast has been a lifeline for me over the past couple of months and has seen me through some dark days. I’m so grateful to have found this community of women who are so funny, inspiring and knowledgeable. It makes me feel less alone.”

AshSunny87, Podcast listener

“Almost 4.5 years since I joined this god awful gang… but the worst girl gang ever is the best girl gang for support ❤️ thank you for helping so many lost and helpless women in their dark times! I don’t know how I found you but I’m so grateful for you both 🙌 you may never know how much I need you”

Instagram follower

Transitioning into childlessness

Written by Jody Day - Gateway Women

June 6, 2025

Transitioning into childlessness Image

Choosing to stop trying for a baby is an incredibly personal and often heartbreaking decision. Relationship strain, finances, mental health, age, and career all play a part, and while options like fertility treatment, donor eggs, surrogacy, or adoption exist, they’re not right — or even possible — for everyone. We believe it takes immense strength to keep going, but just as much courage to say, “enough.” Whatever stage you’re at, we’re sending love to anyone facing these difficult, deeply personal choices.

An introduction

Related resource linked below

How to find Jody

Childlessness, not the club you wanted to join

Related resource linked below

Not the club you wanted to join

Embracing childlessness – are you kidding?!

Related resource linked below

Are you kidding?

Grief – A process of identity transformation

Related resource linked below

Identity transformation

Being a 21st century childless woman

Related resource linked below

Being a 21st century childless woman

How to deal with friends and family

Related resource linked below

Dealing with friends and family

 

Childlessness in the workplace

Related resource linked below

Childlessness in the workplace

 

Who’s going to look after me when I’m old?

Related resource linked below

Who’s going to take care of me when I’m old

 

Embracing childlessness

Related resource linked below

Embracing childlessness

 

Further resources

Grief_work_guide

Childless lingo

 

Jody Day is the founder of Gateway Women, a network for childless women and author of the book ‘Living the Life Unexpected’

Real voices,
real impact

Baby loss and infertility can feel isolating, but you’re not alone here. Hear from those who’ve found support, strength, and community with us.

“I’ve gotten more out of these sessions than I have in months of therapy. I am so so grateful for you guys. Truly. xo”

-Sammi, TFMR course attendee 🇺🇸

“This challenge has really helped me to feel like I’ve found my tribe & the people that just get me 🥰. It’s been so much more than just training for a run ❤️.”

-Edwina, Run 10k to Raise 10k participant

‘The chat is a lifeline! Baby loss can make you feel so isolated but, connecting with others who have been there makes it that bit more bearable xx”

Warriorship drop-In support call attendee

“Just a huge thank you from the bottom of my heart. A friend gave me your book a few days after my TFMR and reading it scraped me off the emotional floor. It validated all of the contradictory emotions I was feeling and made me feel so much less alone.”

Harri, Reader of the TWGGE survival guide

“I have never felt more connected on a deeper level emotionally, more understood, validated, and respected than with this amazing group of women who sadly like myself have been through the shittest time with fertility/baby loss. “

Baby loss support course attendee

“It would be no exaggeration to say this podcast has been a lifeline for me over the past couple of months and has seen me through some dark days. I’m so grateful to have found this community of women who are so funny, inspiring and knowledgeable. It makes me feel less alone.”

AshSunny87, Podcast listener

“Almost 4.5 years since I joined this god awful gang… but the worst girl gang ever is the best girl gang for support ❤️ thank you for helping so many lost and helpless women in their dark times! I don’t know how I found you but I’m so grateful for you both 🙌 you may never know how much I need you”

Instagram follower

An introduction to therapy

Written by Ali Xavier - Tilia Therapy

June 6, 2025

An introduction to therapy Image

Starting therapy can feel a bit daunting, especially when you’re not sure what to expect — and that’s exactly why we’ve created this introduction. In the video ‘What is Therapy and What is it Not’, we explain how therapy isn’t about being ‘fixed’ but about being supported. ‘What to Expect from Therapy’ takes you through the process step by step, so you feel prepared and informed. If you’re wondering whether individual sessions or couples therapy might be best for you, ‘Should I Have 1:1 or Couples Therapy?’ offers guidance to help you decide what’s right for your situation. And finally, ‘A Guide to the Worksheets’ shows you how to get the most from the practical tools we’ve provided — designed to help you reflect, process, and move forward in your own time.

An intro – What is therapy?

What to expect from therapy

Where can I find a therapist and should I be having 1:1 or couples counselling

A guide to the worksheets

 

The worksheets:

Navigating grief, loss and hope

Baby Loss and Miscarriage Grief Triangle

Checking in with your partner

Couples check in

Working down the worry

Working down the worry

Re-framing negative thinking

Reframing negative thinking

Tilia Therapy are a team of BACP accredited counsellors who use integrative models of therapy to help individuals overcome challenges and reach potential. This means we use a multi-disciplinary approach from various schools of counselling and human psychology according to your individual need. We work online offering therapy over Zoom or face-to-face sessions in the Clapham area, and work with ages 18+

https://www.tiliatherapy.co.uk/

Real voices,
real impact

Baby loss and infertility can feel isolating, but you’re not alone here. Hear from those who’ve found support, strength, and community with us.

“I’ve gotten more out of these sessions than I have in months of therapy. I am so so grateful for you guys. Truly. xo”

-Sammi, TFMR course attendee 🇺🇸

“This challenge has really helped me to feel like I’ve found my tribe & the people that just get me 🥰. It’s been so much more than just training for a run ❤️.”

-Edwina, Run 10k to Raise 10k participant

‘The chat is a lifeline! Baby loss can make you feel so isolated but, connecting with others who have been there makes it that bit more bearable xx”

Warriorship drop-In support call attendee

“Just a huge thank you from the bottom of my heart. A friend gave me your book a few days after my TFMR and reading it scraped me off the emotional floor. It validated all of the contradictory emotions I was feeling and made me feel so much less alone.”

Harri, Reader of the TWGGE survival guide

“I have never felt more connected on a deeper level emotionally, more understood, validated, and respected than with this amazing group of women who sadly like myself have been through the shittest time with fertility/baby loss. “

Baby loss support course attendee

“It would be no exaggeration to say this podcast has been a lifeline for me over the past couple of months and has seen me through some dark days. I’m so grateful to have found this community of women who are so funny, inspiring and knowledgeable. It makes me feel less alone.”

AshSunny87, Podcast listener

“Almost 4.5 years since I joined this god awful gang… but the worst girl gang ever is the best girl gang for support ❤️ thank you for helping so many lost and helpless women in their dark times! I don’t know how I found you but I’m so grateful for you both 🙌 you may never know how much I need you”

Instagram follower

Together, we lift each other up

Through The Worst Girl Gang Ever Foundation, your donation helps provide support, education, and a safe space for those who need it most.

72.2k

Community Members